Who Am I Today?

Everything feared seems real.

Everything unreal seems feared.

Everything surreal is appealed.

Everything inside is denied.

Everything outside is invited.

 

Where am I?  What am I?  Who am I?

 

How do I exist between shards of reality?

Am I remnants of my simplified humanity?

Bound loosely together by memories past?

Will this eternity of unknowingness last?

 

All that once was “I” has departed my core.

Expanding emptiness remains to keep score.

I am newborn of nothing but take Everything.

Hurt. Pain. Thrills. Experience. Sensation.

It’s all mine! All mine! Mine! MINE!

 

The void is greedy, demanding, but useless.

Existence consumes and confuses me still.

Questions without answers are like faith without believers.

Did the tree fall? Is the void really empty? Am I real?

 

Where do I fit between the loneliness of indecision?

And the threats of incision that cut me down?

Felling. Falling. Fallen. In pieces I stand tall.

My world falls apart and reforms with every breath.

Taking it’s time. Taking my time.

 

Today I was. Today I am. Today I will be.

 

Is this me?

 

(By  Monica Jakovich,  July 20,  2am,  2011)